Sports and Beer

Sports and Beer

Sports and beer together can create a magical land wherever you are standing. Long ago when I was just a wee lad before I was allowed to imbibe, I noticed my mom yelling obscenities at the big ass console TV during games of all kinds. Oddities like “Tackle that son of a bitch” came out. Oh, and she didn’t know or care who was playing that day. She wasn’t even drinking beer then*, but most of the advertising was based on alcoholic beverages. I see you Spuds McKenzie and Alex from Stroh’s. It all seemed to be part of a culture in the excitement of sports that I enjoyed.

*Mom still regularly tells me that it is “NOON SOMEWHERE!” She does not have a problem, we’re told.

I am SOOOO grateful for it all though. How else would I have this talented palate that enjoys some of the finest brews this country (and others) produce? And by some of the finest, I mean all beers (limited exceptions). PBR, Blatz, Stroh’s, Busch Light, Budweiser, Amber Bock, Guinness, Banquets, and now craft brews have made their way past my tonsils. This is a list of regular rotation beers through the years. All of them have been consumed during some form of sporting event live or on TV. It doesn’t matter if you are at the stadium, a friend’s house, or alone in my basement (There is no shame in this. Ask George Thorogood), beer has been a part of many great times. Many people should also know how to include beer into the experience.

Here are some short examples for you and I won’t get all sports nerdy on you….yet!

Example 1: You are at a baseball game and there are no scoring plays to watch and you don’t understand the difference between a changeup and a slider. If you were to say “This game is boring!” Go get a beer and peanuts and enjoy the sun. BOOM! Great time has just started.

Example 2: It is 15 fucking degrees and you get invited to an NFL playoff game by a douche workmate. Tailgate before the game without him while enjoying beers. Sneak in a 12 pack of tall and by the end of the day, the douche won’t watercooler talk you anymore and you stayed warm all day. Win!

Example 3: You called a radio station to win tickets to a NBA game. 1st: Why in the hell are you listening to the radio? Get an internet connection like the rest of us. B: Why do you want NBA tickets? The value versus time spent at an NBA game is skewed in favor of not the fan. LAST: The NBA makes you less intelligent (notice this paragraph) so you will need copious amounts of high ABV craft beer to make you forget this embarrassing story never to be told again. Stay blackout drunk my friend.

As you can see there are many applications to beer and sports, and the full enjoyment we get from mixing the two. There are limits that should be put in place. Don’t be the jerk, or start fights, or grope people. And that message was for the athletes we paid to watch. The rest of us should probably follow those rules as well, I guess. We all love having fun and going to a cool sporting event, so appreciate it the way you love to do it. I know I’ll have a barley and hop pop going wherever I am standing and you are all welcome to join me. Unless I am in my basement with George Thorogood playing on the radio.

Remember to FB sober and Tweet wasted for all of us to enjoy. Oh and close your tabs if you can remember. Thanks!

The Schmalex

Alex Ruiz
Written by Alex Ruiz

Ohio by birth, but a Colorado resident now. I had the opportunity to move anywhere for new opportunities not that long ago. Craft beer was absolutely one of the parameters leading to my choice of Denver. You will most likely find me persuading my susceptible friends into beer shenanigans. Good friends with beer creates the best experiences, and I hope to enjoy as much as my liver allows while I continue to spin on this third rock. The irreverence, and laughter created from it, are for my own amusement and I hope you get it.

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